sinking, heavy heart.
the sinking feeling left after i woke up. wretched mind kept running to all sorts of wild places. doesnt help when e heavy heart gave me a even worse temper than usual. many told me my fear is unfounded. that i shldnt confuse e past with e present. but i find my mind wandering to him more than once, just thinking abt what he is busy with now, who he hangs out with now. maybe they all found their new bunch of friends, which totally explains e nonexistent contact now. i hate it when stuff ends like this, cause there is no end. it just stopped. like that.
"why do you care?"
i dont know.
and it is so weird that when some of e tears finally fall, it's because of him. that i would think of what we went through and how childish he was. "silly girl", the sweetest thing he ever told me. and he forgotten all about it. it just made me sad when i said it out, when en asked me. cause that made it real. that no, it didnt end as pleasantly that i want it to be.
when memories are long, and people dont care as much as you do, you ache inside. like i do.
ouch.
